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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365923">Restart: Fixing What's Broken</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/juu_lyn/pseuds/juu_lyn'>juu_lyn</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings Apply, Brotherly Love, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fix-It of Sorts, Force-Sensitive Fives, Gen, No Incest, No Slash, Nudity but it is not explicit nor sexual, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Sexual Harassment, Time Skips, Warnings May Change</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:42:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,654</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24365923</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/juu_lyn/pseuds/juu_lyn</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Death is Death.</p><p>There’s no coming back from it, so how is he alive?</p><p>Fives isn’t entirely sure why he woke up naked in the middle of the desert, but Kenobi’s here and he's Force-sensitive now apparently? So maybe he's crazy or this is actually real.</p><p>It doesn’t matter. </p><p>He’s somehow back and this time he’s going to save his brothers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CT-21-0408 | Echo &amp; CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555, CT-27-5555 | Fives &amp; Obi-Wan Kenobi, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 &amp; CT-7567 | Rex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s floating. </p><p>He doesn’t know where exactly, but he’s floating somewhere dark yet--transparent? Fives doesn’t know what this place is or where it is. It feels like he’s drowning here, but Fives doesn’t feel any need to breathe. There’s a force around him, encompassing him, pulling him somewhere. But Fives can’t tell which direction; he’s drowsy and heavy. His mind is still fuzzy and clouded from the drug Nala Se administered to him before--</p><p>Before Fox shot and killed him. </p><p>Fives knows he died . . . Right?</p><p>Fox shot him in the chest, right through his heart. Fives knows he felt the blaster bolt burn through. There’s no way he could have survived a shot like that. Blinking hard, Fives wills his vision to clear as best as he can, but no matter how hard he tries, everything’s still blurry, though he supposes it doesn’t really matter. This place has a weird mix of dark and light. Fives can’t really comprehend it. Giving up on the headache of trying to see, Fives moves on to flexing his lethargic limbs. </p><p>It isn’t much better than trying to clear his vision. His arms and hands won’t offer more than a pathetic twitch or two and his legs and feet refuse to even give him any response to his commands. Not even his head will lift from it’s slouch. Instead, his appendages stay flopped down and just let the force that’s cradling him guide his body wherever it wants him to be. </p><p>Fives wants to be angry and frustrated and he wants to fight back, but the cloud over his mind is stronger, lulling him back to sleep.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. 01: Coarse and Rough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Look at tags for warnings. Also sorry this first (official) chapter is long.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Coarse and Rough. </p><p>That’s the first thing that comes to mind as Fives begins to stir. The warm ground beneath his prone body is coarse and rough and it’s irritating his--his everywhere. Groaning, Fives coughs as he pushes himself to his elbows. The ground shifts beneath his palms and sinks as he rolls around to sit on his bottom. Eyes peeling open, Fives winces as a blast of bright light attacks his retinas and he instantly closes his eyes again. </p><p>Raising a hand to shade his eyes, Fives opens them again, slowly this time, and let’s his eyes adjust to the light shining around him. Wherever he is, Fives is already hating it. Why couldn’t he have woken up in a shadier place? It feels like it takes forever for his eyes to adjust, but within a few long seconds, his pupils contract enough for him to squint at his surroundings. Another few seconds, and no matter how disoriented Fives feels right now, he can’t hold in the yelp of indignation as he takes in the environment around him.</p><p>Sand.</p><p>Sand as far as the eye can see. No civilization in sight. Just mounds and mounds of sand with the sun (suns?) burning down on him. </p><p>Fives let’s out another cry of frustration when he looks down at himself. He’s naked. Nothing to cover himself up with is nearby, and he can already feel the sand getting up in places that’ll be hard to clean out. Why the kriff is he naked? And why here, wherever this was? Was this--was this Tatooine? Squinting up at the sky, Fives catches sight of two suns before quickly looking away. Yeah, he’s just going to go with the assumption that this is Tatooine.</p><p>Letting out a long exhale, Fives groans as he flexes his stiff and aching muscles, toes digging into the prickly sand. It feels like he’s been asleep for months or even years. What even happened before he woke up here? He has so many more questions, but Fives doesn’t think he’s going to get answers just sitting here in the sand, so he pushes himself to his feet but instantly winces as a sharp pang cuts inside his chest.</p><p>Stumbling a little, Fives grips at his chest and looks down to where his fist is pressed against his heart. Well, at least he knows whatever’s happening to him isn’t a dream, what with the pain humming in his chest. Slowly moving his hand away, Fives’ eyes widen as he sees the light, pinkish scar over his heart. A rush of memories invades his mind and Fives gasps as he remembers being in a warehouse and warning General Skywalker and Rex about the chips.</p><p>General Skywalker doesn’t believe him, though, and before he knows it the Coruscant Guard shows up to arrest him. Fives vaguely feels his breath catch in his throat as he recalls the fear taking hold of him. He has nowhere to go or nothing to defend himself when--when he looks down to his side and sees Rex’s discarded blasters. Fives couldn’t think of anything else at that moment--his mind sluggish and hazy--he needed to get away somehow and he couldn’t get caught--he <em> couldn't! </em> So Fives did what he thought was best in that moment and picked up Rex’s blaster, screaming for them to <em> stay back </em> to <em> get away </em>--</p><p>But then heat tears through him and he’s falling. </p><p>Fives trembles as he hopelessly tries to stop thinking about that moment in the warehouse, but the memory continues to assault him as he stands paralyzed in the middle of the desert. Fives can smell the burnt plastoid as Rex drops down to his knees to cradle him. His heart quickly coming to a stop as he mutters almost deliriously about the nightmares finally ending. Fives can still feel the pull of death and hear Rex’s voice one last time--<em> don’t go! </em></p><p>And he left him. He disobeyed his captain one last time. It was a simple order, and he disobeyed him.</p><p>Fives wishes his memory was only a terrible nightmare, but as he desperately tries to remember how to breathe again, Fives can feel something heavy within his entire being--something weighing him, yet making him feel lighter--telling him that he really did die. His panging scar makes what’s happening feel more ominous and real as well. For now, Fives just tries to focus on centering himself as the weight inside of him is swirling a conflicting storm inside and around him. </p><p>It’s a long few moments, but when Fives finally breaks out of his trance, he starts moving. He pushes his burning memory into the dark depths of his thumping mind, not in a fully clear mindset to fully process what’s going on with him. He doesn’t think he ever will be. But as Fives treks across the vast empty desert, he can feel a pull inside of him guiding him North. He doesn’t have any idea where he’s going or where exactly he’s supposed to go, but this thing--feeling?--that’s leading him just tells him to trust it--trust his instinct. Fives doesn’t really want to do that. Last time he trusted his instinct that General Skywalker would help him, but that ended badly--</p><p>Wait a minute. </p><p>Is this why he’s still miraculously alive? Fives grips his shaved head as his breathing quickens. Does he still have a chance to stop the Chancellor and what he’s planning? Will he even be able to? He's naked, confused, and he has no real idea of where he is. How's he of all people supposed to exploit the chips to someone who will actually help and believe him? He's only just one clone.</p><p>A clone who got himself killed (maybe? Fives still can hardly understand any of this) because he wasn't careful enough about the information he found out. Rex, the hypocrite, always said his recklessness would catch up to him eventually and it did. Some ARC-trooper he was. If Echo were here . . . If Echo was there when he discovered the chips . . .</p><p>Fives shakes his head, pushing through the dull headache plaguing his mind. Echo was the better one of them. Fives never thought different. If Echo had been the one to discover the chips, Fives has no doubt that he would have been more successful in stopping the plot the chips were for. But Echo’s not here; he died a long time ago and no matter how much Fives wishes he could change that, he can’t go back in time to save him.</p><p><em> But apparently he can be brought back to life </em>, the wry thought floats in the back of his head as he lets out a sardonic scoff.</p><p>Sighing, Fives pinches the bridge of his nose and trudges across the uneven ground, bare feet aching from the harsh sand. No wonder General Skywalker hates sand so much. Never again will Fives mock his general for his aversion for it. Walking around naked isn’t really helping Fives’ growing disdain for the sand either. He’s only been alive for at most twenty minutes since he woke up and started to walk around, and he’s already accumulating the same lifetime contempt for the sand that his general has for some reason.</p><p>Has? Had? Hopefully General Skywalker is still alive to dislike the sand. He doesn’t know how much time has passed since he got shot and apparently didn’t actually die, and Fives can only wish that it isn’t too late to stop the Chancellor and his plans. How he’s going to do it, Fives isn’t sure, but he just knows he has to stop the madness that he discovered before he died. </p><p>But first, he needs to find civilization so he can acquire clothes to cover up and not expose his shebs to the whole galaxy.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The universe must have something against him, because as it turns out, civilization does not want to be found, instead, Tusken Raiders find him.</p><p>Which, Fives supposes, is civilization, just not the civilization that he was hoping to find. </p><p>The Raiders had taken him by surprise as he was tripping around the sand with a growing headache and an odd humming sensation flowing in his body. It was distracting and Fives hates himself for being so caught off guard. He can’t help the feeling of incompetence and carelessness that bubble up in his chest. It was bad enough waking up with no clue as to what, when, where, why, and most importantly how. Did he really need to be ambushed by hostile sand people while he’s still trying to figure everything out?</p><p>Apparently he did, and Fives really wants to be angry with how the universe seems to hate him.</p><p>Fives grits his teeth. The Tuskens got him surrounded as he’s hunched behind a pathetic little mound of sand. He’s vulnerable with nothing to defend himself with. Maybe he can throw sand in their faces, but Fives doesn’t think that would help him much. He wants to laugh at his situation. A couple hours back in the land of the living and he’s already going to die again.</p><p>The headache that has been racking his head got worse too, pounding against his skull, feeling like he’s going to implode. Fives wants to claw at his head, but all he can do is squint against the pain and fist a handful of rough sand as he vainly tries to look for a way out. He can’t die like this. Not yet, not when he might have a chance at saving his brothers.</p><p>But the Tuskens are closing in and Fives is finding it very hard to breathe as the headache intensifies. Groaning, Fives tightens his grip on the sand slipping through his fingers and holds his other hand over his forehead, squeezing to crush the headache. It doesn’t work, of course, and Fives can only shift his body left and right to dodge as the Tuskens start to fire at him.</p><p>If he wasn’t trying to survive, Fives would laugh at his predicament, but now? Now there's an undercurrent of terror and feral desperation he feels.</p><p>What a way to go. Naked. Surrounded. Head pounding with no place to escape. Throat tightening, yet breathing quickening. Desperately trying to live so he can save all his brothers. But Fives can’t think coherently. His mind is clouded and his brothers are closing in on him, blasters raised. He’s going to get caught. Fox takes aim. Fives feels his heart twinge painfully in his chest.</p><p>
  <em> No. No--No! Stay back! </em>
</p><p><em> He </em> can’t <em> get caught. </em></p><p>
  <em> “Get away from me!” </em>
</p><p>Past and present battle in between his vision as Fives swings Rex’s blasters out in front of him, he fires and a wave of energy pulses around him in lieu of a blaster bolt. His brothers that were closing in on him are thrown back and shift into the stranger sight of the Tuskens. His vision finally settles and Fives gasps in a gallon of air with his hands stationed out in front of him.</p><p>W-What happened? His whole body is buzzing, but his hands are tingling the most. Fives doesn’t have much time to process it. All he knows is that the weight inside him feels like it burst and the headache that was tormenting him is gone now, but he’s suddenly feeling wiped out and drowsy. Everything is blurring again and Fives can’t help retching to the side. There’s nothing in his stomach that should come out, but somehow his innards produce things to regurgitate. </p><p>Some of it splashes on him. Fives can’t bring himself to care.</p><p>He stumbles to the side, looking down at his shaking hands, and collapses. Fives feels too weak to push himself to stand, but the Tuskens are starting to get back up again. He doesn’t think he can fight back, and he definitely doesn’t think he’s going to survive this second chance, but just as the Tuskens begin to close in on him again, Fives hears the whir of a lightsaber. Or maybe he’s imagining it, he really isn’t sure anymore. Fives’ eyes drift shut, but distantly he can hear the slicing of metal and weapons dropping. As he lies pathetically in the rough sand, Fives lets his mind rest when seconds--or maybe minutes--later he feels the sand crunch and shift as the person who saved him crouches over him.</p><p>“How are you here?” The question is mumbled quietly and with a vaguely familiar accent. Fives tries to will his eyes to open, but the pull that guided him North is now guiding his mind into nothingness. Fives hates it. </p><p>The last thing he registers is the weight of a blanket being draped over him right before consciousness leaves him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> There’s screaming attacking him from every direction. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> People are crying out, and children are dying. Everything is on fire as soldiers in clean, white armor point their blasters and shoot red bolts at helpless families. People are vainly trying to escape their impending death. There’s a dirty abandoned little boy holding a baby--his brother--while crying helplessly in an empty alleyway. No one comes to save them. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives can barely breathe, much less comprehend why this nightmare is happening. He wants to stop it and save everyone who’s wailing and dying, but he can’t move. Something’s holding him in place, and with every dying person falling around him, Fives feels himself getting shot down with them. All he can do is stay frozen in place as he watches this nightmare before him play out with no happy ending in sight. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Then another child darts across the dusty ground, pushing through the smoke. With how muddy and bloody the child is, Fives can’t tell if the child is a little boy or girl. But that doesn’t matter. This child is terrified and Fives can feel the fear that this child holds. Fives can only watch as the filthy child runs away from the soldiers dressed in similar armor that he once wore. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> As he holds his breath and fights against the force that’s keeping him in place, Fives sees the tears streaming down the child’s cheeks as they try to get away from the hell that they never should have known. His heart pangs with anguish and the scene around him slows down when one of the strangers dressed in his brothers’ armor takes aim to extinguish the child.  </em>
</p><p>No!</p><p>
  <em> Fives fights so hard to escape the grasp that holds him, but no matter how much he struggles and screams against the grip, he remains a bystander in this nightmare of his.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The child falls, tripping over their feet, and skids across the ground, tumbling until they come to a stop before his feet. Wild, frightened eyes meet his and Fives feels his breath catch in his throat. He wants to grab the child and tell them they’ll be alright, but they see through him before looking back at the soldiers enclosing them. With the child this close, Fives is able to make out that this is a young girl.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He tries to reach out and cover the girl, but he still can’t move. </em>
</p><p><em> Dam </em> mit <em> . </em></p><p><em> The soldier taking aim places his finger on the trigger and Fives desperately fights and </em> fights <em> to save the child, but then-- </em></p><p>
  <em> Then another bolt goes through Fives’ chest from behind before hitting the soldier’s chest. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives gasps as he gets an odd feeling of something passing through him, and goes to clutch his chest. Looking down, there’s no damage and Fives is confused for a second before the person who fired the shot runs up with familiar blue-painted armor. </em>
</p><p><em> The figure is only there for a couple of seconds to pick up the girl and run away, screaming into his comm for </em> Hunter and Wrecker <em> , but Fives doesn’t pay attention to what he’s saying. </em></p><p>
  <em> The man running away into the alleys doesn’t have as much armor as the troopers causing destruction on this planet. He’s missing some torso armor and he doesn’t have anything covering his arms from the elbow up except for a shortened shirt of blacks and shoulder guards. No ARC pauldron, but he still dons the kama over some grey pants and boots. But the one thing that Fives would recognize anywhere is the helmet with jaig eyes. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Rex. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives is in too much shock to think of much else; he wants to follow Rex, but the thing that’s keeping him in place is pulling him farther and farther away now. No, no, no. Don’t take him away, please. Not again. Let him be with his brother.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives bares his teeth as the pull gets stronger and faster, dragging him from his feet and off the ground. He claws desperately at the air, but it’s no use. The pull heaves his unwillful body back as his nightmare starts to cave in on itself. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives screams and thrashes, but there’s nothing he can do. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Rex, come back! Please come back!” </em>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Rex . . . Rex . . . Rex!” </p><p>Fives wakes up, panting and sweating, eyes wildly shuttering as he jerks up in his bed. The nightmare lingers in his brain as he tries to catch his breath. That couldn’t have been real . . . could it? Everything felt so vivid and sharp; Fives swears he could even still smell the burning buildings, but that’s impossible. Nightmares aren’t supposed to follow you to the real world. </p><p>Fives shakes as he brings his breathing under control and wraps the--what is this? A blanket? No, it’s . . . it’s a robe. Like the one Generals Skywalker and Kenobi wore sometimes. Fives tugs it closer around him, and pushes the nightmare back into the depths of his mind. Looking around, Fives finds himself in a cozy, if somewhat messy hut. </p><p>He doesn’t see anything that looks familiar in this bedroom, but something tells Fives that he’s safe here. Swinging his legs off the side of the bed, Fives just sits there too mentally exhausted to do anything else. Instead, he adjusts the robe so he’s completely covered, and stares down at his bare feet.</p><p>What happened before he passed out again? </p><p>He remembers waking up in the desert with no idea where he was. Then, as he was stumbling his way through the desert, Tusken Raiders got the jump on him and he was surrounded. He had no way out, and the headache that was pounding against his brain was agony. Fives remembers seeing his brothers close in on him for a brief second when suddenly there was a pulse and the Tuskens were back, strewn all around him. He also remembers throwing up against his feet, but as he inspects his feet again, Fives finds them wiped clean.</p><p>After that, he collapsed when--</p><p>“Finally awake, are we? You’ve been out for about a day.”</p><p>Fives snaps his dazed stare to the door. </p><p>“General Kenobi?”</p><p>Fives observes as the jaded general simply sighs and pulls up a chair to sit besides the bed he’s on, which Fives assumes is the general’s. He should probably get off. “Yes, Fives, but I would prefer it if you called me Ben.” The genera--Ben, smiles kindly at him. </p><p>“Ah, yes, sir.” Fives bites his tongue to correct himself. “I mean, um, Ben.”</p><p>Kenobi’s smile softens, but there’s a cautious look in his eyes as he studies him. Fives can’t help feeling like Kenobi is staring into his soul, and subtly shifts uncomfortably. If Kenobi notices, he doesn’t say anything. Fives is grateful either way.</p><p>“Fives . . .” Kenobi starts, “How--what is the last thing you remember?”</p><p>Shrugging, Fives looks away and digs a nail nervously into his thumb. “You saving me, Gen--Ben. I woke up in the desert confused and disoriented and tried to find civilization, but all  I found were Tuskens. Well, actually they found me and they had me cornered--” Fives grimaces “--I tried to think of a way out, but it was hopeless; I was, well, naked and my head was pounding and I had nothing to help me fight back with. I did consider throwing the sand at their faces, but I’m sure you know how fruitless that would have been.”</p><p>Gener--Ben chuckles bitterly under his breath at that. “Oh, I’m sure it would have irritated them and gotten everywhere.”</p><p>Fives doesn’t know what to make of that comment, so he finishes lamely, “I probably would have died. Until you came, that is.”</p><p>He looks back up at Kenobi who’s giving him a pensive look and stroking his beard. It’s still mostly reddish-brown, but Fives can see some grey slowly taking over. The gen--Ben has aged a lot since the last time Fives saw him. He still has a somewhat youthful appearance, but he looks a lot more tired and . . . sad. Fives wonders what happened to make Kenobi age beyond his years.</p><p>“Anything else?” The aged man before him asks, but to Fives, it kind of sounds like Kenobi is fishing for another answer.</p><p>Frowning, Fives shakes his head. “No, not really sir.”</p><p>Kenobi hums and seems to leave whatever he was looking for alone. “What about before? What do you remember before you woke up in the desert?”</p><p>Fives thinks back. The memory that comes to mind isn’t one he’s really familiar with, but it comes anyways. </p><p>The weight that’s been inside of him since he woke up was carrying him. Holding him still and heavy. Fives remembers a shadowed, misty place of dark and light. His mind was muddled, but Fives still feels the pulling of his body and wanting to be angry, but he couldn’t fight back. He remembers thinking about his death and being confused, but the thing that was cradling him was too strong and he ended up passing out again. </p><p>Next thing he knew, he was in a desert, and the weight that was encompassing him is now inside of him. It guided him and pulled on his gut, leading him, but as it was showing him a path, it was also giving him a headache. Fives felt unbalanced at the conflicting weight. He still feels a little off, even though the buzz of the weight is quiet now. </p><p>He’s a little afraid to ask what this weight is. Fives has never felt it when he was--before. He never felt this odd feeling before he got shot in the chest. It’s not something he thinks he’ll get used to. The weight is kind of like a heavy blanket around him, but at the same time, it’s flowing through him. And depending on how he or it might be feeling, he’ll either get the comforting warmth it provides, or the fiery burns in his mind. </p><p>“Fives?” A voice breaks through his thoughts.</p><p>Blinking, Fives sucks in a short breath. “Huh?”</p><p>Oh, General Kenobi, er, Ben . . . That’s going to take some getting used to. </p><p>Kenobi is looking at him with a concerned gaze, and Fives wonders just how long he must have been lost in thought. “Fives, are you alright?”</p><p>“Um, yes, ah, Ben,” Fives stammers. “I was just remembering, uh, dying and then being drowsy in this--this place before waking up in the desert. Uh, also if I may ask: this is Tatooine, yes?”</p><p>“Yes, this is Tatooine,” Kenobi answers absently, but he’s stroking his beard again and thinking about what was just revealed to him. “You said you remember being in a place before waking up in the desert; what place was that?”</p><p>Fives shrugs. “I don’t know, sir--Ben. I-It was a weird place. All dark, yet light at the same time. I was being pulled somewhere by something, but I don’t know much else.”</p><p>He doesn’t really think to tell Kenobi about the weight he feels inside himself. Everything is still a confusing mess. Deal with one thing at a time. </p><p>Kenobi falls silent for the next couple of minutes and Fives doesn’t really know what else to say so he fiddles with the robe wrapped around him as Kenobi thinks about his situation and how he came to be here. But maybe he’ll have more answers than him because he’s a Jedi. Maybe his Force powers will tell him something about Fives’ resurrection.</p><p>Thoughts drifting, Fives bites his inner cheek. Why is Kenobi on Tatooine, by the way? Is he on a mission that doesn’t include the 212th? Is this another undercover mission? Is that why he requested to be called Ben? If it is, Fives feels like he should find a way to contact Rex--just Rex, not Skywalker--and ask him about looking into the chips again. </p><p>Kenobi still isn’t saying anything. He’s just frowning with his eyes closed. It takes Fives a second to realize that he’s doing his Jedi meditation thing. Fives doesn’t want to disturb him. But. Maybe General Kenobi will be a better help at assisting with the chips when Skywalker wasn’t. </p><p>As Fives debates telling Kenobi about the chips, the weight of energy inside him swirls again. Fives can’t really ignore it. The weight is pulling at him again, and before he knows it, he’s speaking up. “G--Ben?”</p><p>Kenobi breaks off from his trance and gives him a tight smile. “Yes, Fives?”</p><p>He can’t help the jumble of words that spill out of his mouth. “This might sound crazy, and you were probably told I’m crazy--and who knows, this could all just be some fever dream--but before I, um, died, I discovered a plot against the Jedi. It involved organic chips that would use the clones for whatever someone wanted. I tried to tell Captain Rex and General Skywalker about it, b-but the General got agitated when I said that the Chancellor--”</p><p>“The Chancellor was involved,” Kenobi interrupts softly, surprisingly not surprised. </p><p>“I--what?” Fives asks, “You believe me? You know?”</p><p>Kenobi nods, a despaired expression on his face, and Fives has a sinking feeling in his gut. “Fives, after your ostensible passing over three years ago, the Jedi Order soon came to a fall .  . .”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Dammit. </p><p>Dammit!</p><p>
  <em> Dammit! </em>
</p><p>Why the <em> kriff </em> is he somehow resurrected if it’s already too late to save his brothers?</p><p>Dammit!</p><p>Fives lets out another angry sob as he pounds the outside wall of Kenobi’s hut. Kenobi has been giving him space for the past hour, and Fives is grateful for that. He’s too angry and hurt to discuss other things right now.</p><p><br/>Kenobi told him all about the Chancellor--Darth Sidious--being the one behind the whole war. How he executed Order 66 and the minds of his brothers were overtaken by the chip. How his brothers slaughtered the Jedi. Not even General Skywalker made it through when a new Sith called Darth Vader took over. General Kenobi--Ben--had a faraway look in his eyes when he revealed that last bit, though Fives can understand: they were as close as Fives was with his brothers. </p><p>When Fives asked about his own, about Rex, G--Ben only shrugged helplessly and looked away from him. He didn’t know what exactly happened with Rex and the others, but it was clear that he believed that they all fell to the chip. Like Cody had. </p><p>Fives didn’t want to believe it, but the weight inside him beat against his head, telling him that Kenobi was telling the truth. It’s giving him a headache, but Fives pushes through it as tears swell at the corners of his eyes. He was right about it all, but he was brought back to life too late. Clenching his eyes shut, Fives sinks to the ground. </p><p>It’s not right. It’s not fair. But that was their whole existence. They were only clones. Created for the Chancellor--Darth Sidious’ schemes. </p><p>Fives bites his lip when another sob threatens to escape.</p><p>He hates that man. That Sith. He wants to kill him. </p><p>The headache that’s been pounding his brain is building up rapidly, but he’s too angry to pay attention to it. He just wants to destroy something. Baring his teeth, Fives curls his hands into fists. All he can see is red and he can’t focus on anything else except for the hatred he feels for Palpatine. His headache continues to swirl.</p><p>Fives slowly gets up to his feet again. There’s tingling in his fist like earlier as he goes to punch the wall again, but then Fives feels some invisible force restraining him.</p><p>Kenobi.</p><p>“Let me go, sir,” Fives demands through gritted teeth. He’s sick and tired of being held by something invisible in his dreams and in real life.</p><p>“I will, but will you please stop punching my wall? I don’t think it could handle another punch from you.” Kenobi is patient. Understanding.</p><p>Fives exhales roughly, nodding, and then the grip around him is gone. </p><p>“Fives, could you please come over here?” </p><p>He doesn’t want to, but Kenobi has been accommodating to him and Fives respects him, so he turns away from the wall and walks over to Kenobi. His headache is starting to calm down.</p><p>Once he’s a few feet away, Kenobi smiles placatingly at him and drops to the ground and crosses his legs. He pats the ground next to him and Fives follows suit. The sand still feels coarse and rough, even through the robe. </p><p>Kenobi isn’t looking at him, he’s looking to the distance, so Fives does the same. Kenobi doesn’t say anything, and Fives doesn’t prompt him to speak. Instead, he just basks in the calming energy he feels from Kenobi, closing his eyes. The weight is still there, but instead of beating him, it’s wrapping around him. If he pretends, Fives can almost call the feeling he’s feeling right now peaceful. </p><p>This is nice and he doesn’t want it to end, but he knows Kenobi didn’t just come out here to sit with him, so Fives reluctantly opens his eyes after a few minutes and inquires, “Was there something you wanted to talk with me about, Ben?”</p><p>Kenobi doesn’t speak, and for a moment, Fives thinks he may not have heard him, but when he opens his mouth to ask him again, Kenobi answers, “You’re right. I was planning on speaking with you about it later, but then I felt a flare in the Force and I think we should discuss this matter now.”</p><p>“Matter?” Fives furrows his eyebrows. “What are you talking about, sir?”</p><p>Kenobi turns to look at him, and Fives feels nervous all of a sudden. Does this have anything to do with his second life? Should he be worried? Fives really doesn’t think he can take more perturbing news. He can already feel his headache coming back.</p><p>Kenobi opens his mouth, but hesitates a little. “. . . A couple hours before I saved you, as I was meditating, I felt something in the Force--a sort of surge or muted explosion. I left my hut to go investigate what it was.”</p><p>Fives nods, not really understanding the Force talk, but not planning on interrupting the former Jedi general.</p><p>“I followed the sudden burst I felt. It was fluctuating in volatile patterns, and I almost didn’t find the source, but it eventually led me to you--hands spread out and the Tuskens thrown all around you. The crackle of energy I was feeling turned into a smooth wave as you collapsed.”</p><p>Kenobi can’t be saying what Fives thinks he’s saying.</p><p>“The energy I felt around you has been like that ever since you woke up here, but then it started to rise again and just a few minutes earlier as you were about to beat down my wall, I felt that sudden spike again. Had I not stopped you, I have no doubt you would have put a hole through my home.” Kenobi finishes. “Even now the energy I feel from you, it’s--”</p><p>“No!” Fives yells, then winces and lowers his voice, headache building again. “No, sir, I-I know what you’re implying and I know I’m not Force-sensitive. There’s no way! I’m a clone, and clones don’t--aren’t Force-sensitive! That’s not possible, sir.”</p><p>But he feels something in the air, and within him, telling him that he is. </p><p>Kenobi only takes a patient breath and continues, “Fives, I know this is a lot to take in--I’m still not sure of any of this myself--but I can feel that the Force is what brought you back. That place you described earlier, it sounded reminiscent of the Force itself, and for some reason you have become more connected--sensitive--to the Force with your resurrection.”</p><p>Fives looks with wide eyes at Kenobi. He doesn’t want to admit it, but the weight inside of him might just be the Force that the Jedi feel. It’s what’s been making him feel heavier, yet somehow freer. But at the same time, when he gets worked up, the thing--Force, he guesses--starts to beat inside his head. Makes him feel like erupting and just causes his mind to go into chaos. And this is what has been dominantly plaguing him since he first arrived.</p><p>It scares him.</p><p>Fives isn’t sure he wants to be Force-sensitive if this is what having the Force feels like. He can feel the steady thumping in his head get stronger. This isn’t what he imagined having the Force would be like. Fives remembers a time when he was joking around with Echo and General Skywalker about clones being Force-sensitive.</p><p><em> “Just saying, General, we’d be a </em> Force <em> to reckon with!” </em></p><p>
  <em> “That was terrible, Fives.” </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Shut up, Echo.” </em>
</p><p>Now, Fives wants to punch himself. He didn’t think being Force-sensitive would be this painful.</p><p>As his chest tightens and the headache grows, Kenobi holds no judgemental stare at him, only kind eyes, and that somehow makes Fives’ heart hurt worse. “Fives, please, breathe.”</p><p>I am, Fives wants to say, but the headache is pounding again and he can feel his muscles going tense, so Fives focuses on Kenobi’s calming presence and takes a few moments to center himself. Kenobi is patient with him, and puts a soothing hand on his shoulder. Fives is grateful and anchors himself to the grip Kenobi has on him, and soon the headache dies down and his breathing is steady. </p><p>“I’m sorry, G--Ben.” Fives clenches his fists. “This headache I have keeps coming and going and whenever it comes, I feel like I’m going to explode. I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>Doesn’t know what to do with this cursed second life he got. Doesn’t know what to do about the nightmare he had. Doesn’t know what to do about these headaches and being Force-sensitive apparently. Fives doesn’t know. He wishes Rex or Echo were here. If Rex is still alive or still under the chip’s influence.</p><p>But then what was his dream?</p><p>“It’s okay, Fives, I know it can be overwhelming,” Kenobi empathises, sweeping away his thoughts. “Just let me help you. I will help you understand, if you’ll let me.”</p><p>Fives stares at the wise Jedi before him and suddenly sees why Cody was always so proud to serve under him. So Fives nods, determined, and let’s Kenobi teach him.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>im sorry if there were mistakes and if it was horrible writing, but it is what it is. but thanks again for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 02: New Beginnings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>look at tags for warnings.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ben Kenobi reminds Fives a lot of Echo. </p><p>They are both patient and kind and they have a soft voice that demands to be heard when most people would ignore such gentle voices. They are both good leaders and skilled at combat. Kenobi and Echo are the type of people to believe that they follow the rules to a fault, but really, they’re just as chaotic as General Skywalker and himself. They’re just more sly and subtle about it. Fives thinks that just makes them more cunning and dangerous. </p><p>Over the course of the three and a half months since he first came back to life, Fives has discovered these parallels between his brother and his teacher. It makes his scarred heart ache. Fives has nothing against Kenobi and the reminders of his brother--Fives can see the way Ben’s eyes also crinkle and strain when he might do or say something similar to Skywalker, Kenobi’s brother. It’s a painful thing to notice every now and then for both men, but at the same time they have built a good friendship between themselves. It’s not the same kind of bond Fives had with Echo, nor is it the same bond Kenobi had with Skywalker, but it’s quickly becoming stronger every day.</p><p>His friendship with Kenobi has been a calming peace that helps temper down the panic or frustration that will grow inside of him on occasion. It’s a wave that never fails to soothe the fire that burns Fives from the inside out. Fives always tries--<em> do or do not, there is no try </em>--to remember the gentle waves of Ben’s presence when he has bad days. The Force he feels from Ben is a trusted anchor that keeps him from exploding.</p><p>
  <em> There is peace . . . Serenity . . . The Force . . . </em>
</p><p>Kenobi taught him these things, the Jedi Code, but he didn’t seem as strict about them like he was before the Fall from the few times Fives got to observe him back then and now. Ben is more flexible and lenient in these Jedi teachings than Obi-wan was. He is more lax and teaches Fives to control his passionate emotions through peaceful memories. To release them into the Force. Ben isn’t stifling. He encourages Fives to turn his weaknesses into strengths and to be himself unapologetically. </p><p>Fives isn’t a normal student. He wasn’t a nat-born and he wasn’t gifted with the Force before his death. No. He’s a clone and neither he nor Kenobi refers to himself as a padawan. That’s fine. Fives doesn’t want to be a padawan. Instead, Ben is a friend guiding another lost friend through an unfamiliar road. It’s this tacit understanding between them that helps Fives wade through the twisted maze that is the Force.</p><p>There are still moments where Fives will get lost and break down under the pressure of the swirling storm. On those days, Fives wants to lash out as he feels the Force threatening to push over the dam he built inside himself. The headaches will rise and the scar on his heart twinges as he attempts to push back against the Force. He struggles to keep himself afloat in the overwhelming flood of dark energy Fives feels from the Force. </p><p>But then Fives will feel a soothing wave from Ben in his mind and slowly, but surely the headaches die away and his chest stops hurting. Sometimes it will take seconds for Fives to compose himself, but other times it will take hours. Learning how to feel peace during a battle is a challenge, especially since he was a soldier, but Kenobi is a patient teacher and Fives was trained to be a fast learner. There may be much that he needs to master, but he’ll become ready soon enough.</p><p>Yet, Fives isn’t quite sure what he’s supposed to do. Throughout the last three and a half months he’s been alive, Fives has been plagued with nightmares and dreams that haunt him too often. They’re all about those soldiers--his <em> brothers </em>, karking hell--destroying planets and killing people for those kriffing nerf herders for Darths.  Fives doesn’t dream of anything else; it was only the first nightmare that showed him a brother he personally knew.</p><p>Rex. Fives blinks rapidly and tries to release his emotions into the Force.</p><p>Kenobi told Fives his nightmares were precognitions and to live in the moment and not worry about it. They’ll either come true or they won’t, Fives can’t and shouldn’t try to control it. Fives listens to what Ben has to say, but he can’t help but feel that these nightmares of his are more than that. They’re too vivid and solid when Fives dreams of them, and there’s always a lingering scent when he wakes up. It’s just too real.</p><p>But Fives tries not to worry about it and always takes up Ben’s advice on meditation. It’s not the way Fives would like to deal with it, but he’s always afraid if he tries to let out his frustrations more physically the headache and pain he felt the first day of his resurrection would overcome him and tempt him into doing something he might regret. It’s a fear he struggles to let go of. So Fives practices meditation every morning and every night. Sometimes it helps, but other times it feels useless.</p><p>He’s gotten better, though. He has Ben to thank for that.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Huffing, Fives pants as he swipes a hand across his sweaty forehead and pushes his hair out of his eyes. He’s practicing katas and after over three months, his hair has finally grown back. It’s long, not as long as Tup’s had been, but his hair almost touches his shoulders now and he has curling bangs that drift into his eyes and cover his tattoo. He should cut it, but Fives doesn’t really care much for hair maintenance like when he was in the GAR. </p><p>Besides, he doesn’t really want to look at his tattoo. It reminds him too much of the days before everything went to hell. Too much baggage. Maybe one day he’ll cut his hair when the wounds aren’t as fresh, but for now, Fives will keep his hair grown out. He has more important things to worry about, but he does still keep his goatee fairly clean. Can't look too much like a rat <em> and </em> have Ben’s beard outshining his own facial hair.</p><p>Speaking of Ben, he shouldn’t be back for another four standard hours. He went out to go get more food and then discreetly check up on Luke, Skywalker’s kid. When this revelation was brought up, Fives was, truthfully, not too surprised. Yes, he was shocked for about a minute, but the general and Senator Amidala weren’t exactly subtle about their attraction to each other. Fives knows for a fact Skywalker forced Rex to be their guard whenever he wanted to make a call to the senator. It was always funny to see Rex try to lie whenever Skywalker almost had a close call--with Kenobi majority of the time--but who was he to talk? Fives wasn’t exactly a stellar liar himself.</p><p>As Fives goes to drink from a canteen he dropped nearby, he thinks about how Kenobi doesn’t just watch Luke for himself. It’s a little strange. Ben hasn’t revealed everything about why he’s here in Tatooine of all places. Fives doesn’t push him; he doesn’t feel that Ben would tell him anyway. Once, when Fives broached the topic about a month ago, Kenobi got a pained look in his eyes and shut the conversation down entirely and left for the rest of the day. The Force was silent when Fives decided to meditate on it, so he didn’t bring it up again. Fives swallows one last gulp of water before going back to his kata stance. One day he’d like to meet the general’s son, but only until he knows Kenobi is comfortable enough to talk about it again.</p><p>Hair falling into his eyes again, Fives flips his head to get it out of the way. It’s redundant because it just falls back into his eyes, but Fives ignores it as he starts the kata. Fives likes these katas. They’re smooth and flowing, and that’s the feeling he aims to achieve with the Force. He thrusts his hand out in front of him and follows it with a graceful kick lightly powered by the Force. It makes him feel like he’s flying.</p><p>As he flips backwards, Fives feels the Force balance out through his body. It’s not pounding against his head and it’s not consuming his whole being. It’s a good day today. He lands on his palms and balances before pushing off the ground again and lands into a low side lunge. The Force is guiding him through the kata. Fives almost smiles at the warmth filling him.</p><p>Kenobi taught him these katas along with a few lightsaber katas. Fives has practiced with Ben’s lightsaber from time to time, but it doesn’t feel right. Ben understands, but will sometimes spar him with a pair of vibroswords he got from a connection he has from the sketchier side of town. Fives didn’t question it. The vibroswords were cool--not the same as a blaster, but cool--and felt pretty durable when they sparred. It’s challenging, but Fives keeps up. Ben holds back and the katas help. </p><p>Fives spreads out his hands together and it feels like he’s dancing. He drops into a roll and springs up with just the right amount of energy. He can’t help the joyful whoop he lets out. Don’t overexert himself, but still have a balanced power when working with the Force. It’s something he struggles with, so whenever he gets it right, Fives lets himself celebrate. The Force buzzes pleasantly within him and Fives smiles. </p><p>The kata soon comes to an end and Fives goes to drink the rest of his water before dropping to the ground. </p><p>He hardly registers the sand. The clothes that Ben provided him with protects his skin from the scratchy ground. Even after months back, Fives still feels a little weird not wearing armor. But it’s lighter and not a snug as his ARC armor was. Fives misses it, but the clothing grew on him. Clones never got any clothing besides the issued blacks, greys, and armor. The garments that Ben got him let him discover his personal style.</p><p>The first wardrobe that he had--which were some of Kenobi’s clothes--was filled with lighter colors because it didn’t absorb the heat as much as darker colors, but when Kenobi offered to take him to the market to buy a more diverse and personal apparel, Fives enthusiastically accepted. He really didn’t want to be stretching out Ben’s clothes, and he also wanted clothes that matched himself.</p><p>So he got clothes. Some light and some a little darker, nothing too dark though because of the heat; however, Fives’ favorite outfit does lean closer to the more pigmented shades. It’s blue--not quite as dark as 501st blue, closer to a sky blue--and has the slightest accent of orange. He wears a blue long-sleeved shirt with a lighter blue tunic over it. There’s an orange belt wrapped around his waist and he wears beige pants and brown boots with it.  Fives isn’t a fashionista so he didn’t know if the outfit looked good, but he likes it so it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.</p><p>(Ben smiled when Fives couldn’t keep a grin off his face as he checked himself out, and really, Fives is glad that Ben seems to like it as well. Maybe he does have style after all.)</p><p>Inhaling a large breath, Fives stretches his arms over his head and falls back, locking and cushioning his hands underneath his mop of hair. It’s only late morning, and he’s already meditated and finished up his katas. He’ll practice other Force stuff later, but for now Fives just wants to enjoy the heat against his skin. Sure he’s sweaty and gross, but he can’t bring himself to care. He feels peaceful, and the Force isn’t pounding inside his brain today so he’s going to enjoy this time while it lasts.</p><p>Fives closes his eyes, and launches himself into a half-hearted meditation. He doesn’t want to ruin the peaceful hum of the Force he feels, so he meditates on old memories. Happy ones. Peaceful ones. An old memory of graduating from cadet and to soldier. Another one of drawing a mustache on one of Cutup’s pinup art on Rishi for purposefully ruining his breakfast as a prank. Echo and he getting promoted to ARC-trooper. Rex insisting they take a picture when they finally got back from ARC training to immortalize the moment. </p><p>Without realizing it, Fives eventually drifts off to sleep with the Force holding him in a comforting embrace.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“You’ll get a heatstroke sleeping out here.” A voice--Ben’s voice--brings him out of his slumber.</p><p>“Huh?” Fives grumbles and sits up, rubbing a hand over his crusted eyes. “Ben? Already back?”</p><p>Kenobi smiles gently and offers a hand up. Fives takes it and stands, stretching and shaking out the sand that sticks to him. “I did say I’d be back around this time.”</p><p>Fives gives a small smile in return and nods. “Yeah, I guess you did. How’s Luke?”</p><p>Kenobi’s smile stays put, but his eyes get a sad look in his eyes. “He’s alright. Still just a toddler, but I can tell he’s a clever boy.”</p><p>Just like his father, Fives thinks silently. He probably looks like him too. General Skywalker would be so proud. “Sounds like he’ll grow up to be a smart man,” Fives says, not bringing up the sensitive topic of Skywalker.</p><p>Ben shrugs and his gaze gets a faraway look. “If he does, then he’d have gotten it from his mother.”</p><p>Fives barks out a laugh and it seems to get Ben to smile more genuinely now. “You’re probably right, sir--” it still slips out from time to time, but he’s gotten better at it “--he <em> would </em> get it from his mother!”</p><p>And look at that, he’s turning into Echo, repeating back what was just said to him. Fives doesn’t dwell on it too much.</p><p>“I’m glad you agree.” Ben chuckles before asking, “And what about you, Fives, how has your day been? Have you eaten yet? Let’s talk over some late lunch.”</p><p>“Late lunch?” Fives echoes back again. “We might spoiler our appetite for dinner.”</p><p>But he’s already walking back with Kenobi as his stomach begins to growl. Ben quirks a teasing smile at the noise and shrugs. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll work up an appetite.”</p><p>Raising an eyebrow, Fives brushes his hand through his growing bangs. “Yeah?”</p><p>Ben nods and says, “Yes, I want to teach you some proper lightsaber forms.”</p><p>Lightsaber, huh? He’s practiced the katas with the vibrosword and sometimes Kenobi’s lightsaber, but they were mostly general katas. Ben hasn’t gotten around to actually showing him a proper form yet. He’s just been using his observations and ARC training to help him whenever he and Ben spar with the vibroswords.</p><p>Fives feels a grin spread across his face. Commander Tano always looked like she had fun whenever she showed them her katas, but that could’ve been because she was showing off now that Fives thinks about it. </p><p>He remembers her cheeky grin as she finishes up with a fancy and totally unnecessary flip.</p><p>Yup. Definitely showing off.</p><p>Fives drops his hand from his hair, letting the bangs brush at his eyes and turns his gleeful gaze to his friend. “I can’t wait.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Using a lightsaber is fun. It’s a little tricky, but fun. Kenobi has shown Fives all forms to get a feel for each one, excluding the seventh, and showed him how to do a basic kata specifically created for each form. The Shii-Cho kata is simple and straightforward, but the Makashi kata feels a little more stifling. Soresu--Ben’s favored form--lacks the offensive features that Fives likes about Ataru; however, when Fives did a Djem So kata, it had the perfect amount of offense and defense to it. The sixth form, Niman, Ben only brushed over a little and Fives is fine with that. Niman didn’t really mesh with his preference anyways. As Fives finishes up one last kata, he spins Ben’s lightsaber and shuts it off.</p><p>Ben has a small smile on his face when Fives hands him back the lightsaber and compliments, “There are some things that I could teach to improve your form, but overall your technique is good. What form did you like most?”</p><p>Fives grins when he answers, “I liked Djem So. Form V.” </p><p>Heh, he’s named Fives for a reason.</p><p>He can just hear Echo’s disappointed, <em> that’s not funny, Fives. </em></p><p>Shut up Echo, yes it is.</p><p>He knows Jesse would be proud.</p><p>“Djem So.” Kenobi interrupts his thoughts and says knowingly, “I thought you would.”</p><p>Hesitating, Fives’ breath catches in his throat before he blurts out, “Sir, if I may ask, what did General Skywalker and Commander Tano use?”</p><p>He can see Ben physically halt his initial response. There’s pain in his eyes and a brush of sorrow Fives feels in the Force that makes him regret asking. Right as he’s about to tell Ben nevermind, it’s okay not to say, he answers, voice slightly strained, “Ahsoka had practiced Jar’Kai--which was not an actual lightsaber form. It was the use of more than one lightsaber, and she used an unconventional backhanded grip for a variant of Djem So.”</p><p>That’s interesting to know, Fives thinks and asks quietly, “. . . And what about the general?”</p><p>Kenobi doesn’t look at him as he replies, “Anakin also used Djem So.”</p><p>He doesn’t say anything else, only looking down at the lightsaber in his hand before gripping it tightly. Fives doesn’t ask what he’s thinking. “. . . I know it might be a sensitive subject, but Djem So is the form I’d like to learn, please--if you’re willing to teach me it, that is,” Fives hesitantly requests.</p><p>It’s the form he resonates with most, and it feels right. But he won’t push Kenobi if he doesn’t want to. </p><p>The jaded man before him is silent for a few minutes, and as Fives goes to tell him nevermind, he speaks. “No, it’s fine. I’ll instruct you as best as I can in Djem So.” Ben smiles at him. “I’m not a master at it, but I’ve sparred with Anakin enough times to understand the form well.”</p><p>Sending a comforting wave of energy to his friend like Kenobi does for him sometimes, Fives smiles and lays a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, Ben. And I’d like to learn a little Soresu too if that’s alright. I want to know it’s weaknesses so I know how to beat you in the next spar.”</p><p>He knows he most likely wouldn’t be able to defeat the former Jedi master, but he says it in good fun. Kenobi laughs and nods. “Sure, but don’t expect it to be an easy fight, my friend.”</p><p>“Right back at you,” Fives says with a cheeky tone. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em> It’s cold and dark.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> He’s shivering and he can’t open his eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives doesn’t know where he is. All he knows is that he’s trapped somewhere cold, dark, and tight. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But it’s not the Force that’s holding him in place. No, Fives doesn’t feel that encompassing grip holding him down. It’s something else. It’s a more tangible prison than the heavy blanket that is the Force.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives shifts around as best as he can, but his shoulders bump into hard walls. What is this? Is this another dream?  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives can feel his breathing stall. Not another nightmare. He hates the nightmares. Fives shakes as he feels his emotions rise. Please not another nightmare. Clenching his fists, Fives struggles to let go of his emotions as he takes in a breath. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Concentrate on what the Force feels like. Release your emotions. Just focus on the Force. On what it tells him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> The Force is silent, but Fives can feel it gently nudging him like it’s willing him to burst out of this prison. It’s odd, considering the Force is what usually holds him still in his dreams, but Fives doesn’t question it; he works with the Force this time, and feels it free him from the restraints of the cold cell. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It takes a little getting used to as he feels the Force flow through him in his dream, but Fives does his best to release the anxiety he feels. Trust the Force. Let it guide him. Remember Ben’s teachings. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives feels the tension in his body slowly seep away and he is finally able to open his eyes.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Light doesn’t exactly come rushing in, but it does peak through a window in front of Fives’ face. The lighting is separated in random streaks, and Fives blinks to let his vision adapt to the low lighting.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Once he can see okay, Fives turns his head from side to side and looks up and down. He’s in a chamber of some kind. There’s not much to it. Just a dark, metal chamber. A cool breeze inside the box he’s in huffs out some more air and Fives shivers. What is this chamber? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Squeezing his hands up in front of him, Fives places them on the wall before him and squints out the small window again. He can’t see anything. There’s light, but the window is grainy and dirty. Letting out a frustrated huff, the window fogs up and Fives closes his eyes as he rests his forehead against the window.  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> But something weird happens right as his forehead touches the cold window and suddenly Fives is outside the chamber. Now able to see the thing he was in, Fives realizes it’s a stasis pod. It’s halfway buried in sand and Fives can’t help the small scowl that blossoms on his face as he brings up a hand to wipe away the dirty window--that’s why it was so grainy--and looks into it. What he sees surprises and haunts him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> It’s another clone. His hair is in the standard buzz and he has 501st blue painted down his armor. Looking more closely, Fives catches sight of a red medic’s symbol on his left shoulder pauldron. His breath stutters. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> No, no. It can’t be. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Fives sucks in a breath and swipes his hand over the window again to try and clean it up more. It’s hard to make out, but Fives can just barely see some dark ink peeking through from  underneath the hair on the clone’s temple. </em>
</p><p>A Go--</p><p>Is A--</p><p>
  <em> That’s all that can be seen, but Fives doesn’t need to see the rest to know what it says. He can’t help the whispered gasp that escapes him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> “Kix?” </em>
</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p>.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hi everyone! if this chapter was kind of boring, im sorry (im not entirely satisfied with it myself but--) im trying not to rush the story but just let me know if it's too fast or slow. I want this story to be engaging, but i don't want the pacing to be all over the place! I also would have had this out earlier, but I'm finishing my quarter and soon ill be taking summer classes so ive been busy. but thanks for reading :)<br/>(Also, thank you to everyone who gave kudos, bookmarked, commented, etc. you all are so kind &lt;3)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. 03: Tremors</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>look at warnings in tags. seriously. But if you guys would prefer i put warnings in the notes before chapters then i could do that, just tell me please.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>His chest hurts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives grits his teeth as he swings his vibrosword up in an arc and holds it in a firm block before twisting his wrist and slashing down. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been aching more than usual ever since he shot up awake in the early hours of the morning before dawn. He had another dream, but his morning meditation didn’t help and Ben wasn’t here when he wandered out of his room. Without Ben here to help soothe his anxious emotions, Fives can feel himself burning from the inside out. The headache attacks his brain and the Force strangles him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He still struggles when the bad days hit. He needs Ben’s help. Fives pushes through the pain thumping under his scar and throws an offensive thrust with his vibrosword. He shakes as he swings it into a side block next. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Where is Ben? He can feel himself getting angry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been two months since he had his dream about Kix, but now all he dreams about is the desert planet. A sandy hell with erratic storms and giant worms. A place where sand floods every single corner of the surface and lava geysers are spread throughout the land. A planet with the sand equivalent to waterfalls that drop into dark caverns below. Fives can always feel an ominous pulse from those caves.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Kix is stranded--alone, in a stasis pod--in the middle of it all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives hates it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hates knowing deep within his heart that this desert planet is where Kix is at, but the dreams are mocking him. They tell him where his brother is, yet not at the same time. They taunt him with the proximity he has to Kix, but he’s always pulled away when he wakes up. He can’t help the growing fear that something will happen to Kix the longer he doesn’t do something to save him. Kix is alone somewhere, trapped in a frozen prison with no way out. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He almost misses the violent nightmares.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Growling out a noise of anger, Fives tears through empty air with his vibrosword, but his grip slips and the blade goes flying a few feet in front of him before sticking itself in the sand. Fives trembles as he stares at it for a couple of seconds before letting out an enraged yell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why isn’t Ben here?!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thrusting his palm out, Fives wills the blade into his hand. The headache burns. Fives feels the Force pulse explosively around him. The vibrosword shoots out of the ground and lands haphazardly in his hand. It nicks him. He ignores the stinging pain.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives squeeze the handle, grip overly tight, and glares down at the weapon. Why can’t he calm down?! Where is Ben when he needs him?! Fives suddenly doesn’t want to be holding a blade.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He misses the blasters. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He misses Kix. Rex. Echo. Tup. Every one of his brothers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He misses being a normal clone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At least then he wasn’t getting these mocking dreams of being a bystander. At least he didn’t have this near constant pain in his heart. At least he had his brothers. At least he wasn’t a Force-sensitive struggling with these emotions that didn’t harm him before. At least life wasn’t as painful as it feels now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives sobs in a breath and blinks the angry tears away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hates being Force-sensitive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s had good days as a Force-sensitive, but he’s had bad days. Today is a bad day. It’s been a constant inner battle ever since he was resurrected. Can’t let his emotions consume him and turn into something harmful, but don’t let himself become an empty husk of a man. It feels so black and white sometimes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives hates it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Tightening his grip on the blade once more, Fives scowls and roughly hooks the handle to his belt. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This isn’t helping. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>His headache is pounding, the Force is crushing him, and his heart is burning. The meditation and katas just proved useless and Ben isn’t here to help. Fives doesn’t think he’s going to be back for a while. Maybe a drink will help.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Marching inside their shared hut, Fives goes into his room and grabs a robe Ben lets him borrow then carelessly tosses his vibrosword onto his bed. It’s the same robe he wore the day Ben saved him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Swinging the robe over his shoulders with the hood up, Fives grabs some credits Ben has stored and leaves the hut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>In his rage-filled trek, time blurs quickly and he ends up in a tavern. He rarely goes out to town--too busy training himself--but Fives has noticed that this is the most popular watering hole. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t understand why. It’s pretty dirty and rundown, but maybe that’s just because this is Tatooine. Hopefully the drinks will make up for the appearance. Probably not as good as 79’s, though.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives ignores the stares he gets as he marches up to the bar. There are two bartenders--one human and the other a rodian--but the rodian looks him up and down before turning to the man and tilts his head at Fives, saying something, and strolls to the opposite side of the bar. The man rolls his eyes and purses his lips together at the retreating rodian, but he makes his way over to Fives and puts on a superficial smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’ll you be having, friend?” The man asks kindly, but Fives can feel the annoyance coming from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What’s this guy's problem?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives clenches his hands shut. His fist is tingling. He wants to punch this dude.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The strongest thing you have,” Fives nearly growls out, bangs falling into his eyes. He roughly sweeps it to the side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man slowly raises an eyebrow at his tone. Fives glares back. He’s really not in the mood. The barkeep seems to realize this and doesn’t say anything else, only turning away to get his order ready.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As the man goes away, Fives takes a seat on the spinning chair next to him and crosses his arms together, gripping his biceps so tightly he knows he’s leaving little welts in his skin. Fives’ chest is still hurting and the energy he feels from this tavern is suffocating. The Force is a dirty blanket here. Fives closes his eyes shut and tries to push away the headache. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why wasn’t Ben at home? Where is he? It was already noon when Fives left, and he wasn’t back yet. Why did he leave Fives to suffer alone? Fives clenches his eyes tighter as his headache and chest pain grow. He needs Ben. Ben always helps. But Ben is gone. Fives feels his anger grow as the Force rumbles around him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t do anything about Kix. He doesn’t know where Ben is. And he’s being suffocated by the thunderous waves of the Force.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything hurts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives just wants to not hurt anymore.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Too focused on all the overwhelming sensations drowning him, Fives doesn’t notice the figure coming up behind him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The person sneaking up behind him brings up a hand and tugs his hood down. Instantly, Fives’ eyes snap open and he whips around in his sesat, snatching the person’s wrist in a bruising grip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s a human woman. Sweeping an impatient gaze over her, Fives takes her in. She has striking red hair cut into a bowl with an undercut and forest green eyes. She’s a little more than half a head shorter than himself and wears a khaki tank top along with darker brown pants that have various pockets and brown boots that look terribly fitted. The woman doesn’t look like much, but something tells Fives she’s just here to cause trouble.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>How can he tell?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes are wide, but there’s a smile playing on her lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quite a grip you got there, stranger,” she flirts, voice sultry as her eyes dart to his hand, fingers wrapped around her whole wrist. She licks her lips and looks back at him. “Aren’t you that guy who’s been hiding with that recluse for five or six months now? You’re an absolute refreshment in this dry wasteland; why hide yourself away?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ugh. Fives scowls and lets go of her hand, pulling his hood back up. “Not interested,” he rejects and turns back around in his seat, not registering that she’s aware of his living situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the woman doesn’t seem to get the hint. She just takes the seat besides him and kicks his chair so he spins to face her again. Fives’ scowl deepens while his bangs sway widely in front of his eyes. He roughly brushes it to the side as he feels his headache intensify, the Force pounding against his very being.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on,” the woman prods, “I’m just trying to be welcoming.” She gives a coy smile and holds out her hand. “I’m Jez.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>More like ‘Jizz,’</span>
  </em>
  <span> Fives thinks irritably. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like I said,” Fives reiterates, “not interested.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He ignores her hand and turns his seat back around.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But she just can’t get the hint. “Hey, now,” she says, “I’m not trying to get in your pants. I just want to get to know you, be your friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why does he get the feeling she means it the other way around?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives can feel his anger grow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not giving the persistent woman a response, Fives gives her his back and closes his eyes again to block out not just her, but also the sensations that have been plaguing him since this morning. It doesn’t work. He hears the woman get up from her seat, and just as Fives thinks she’s about to leave him alone, she drapes herself over his back and wraps her arms around him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tenses.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You sure play hard to get,” she whispers into his ear, caressing his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels sick and disgusted. Fives feels his fists tingle as they shake. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Don’t make a scene. Don’t punch her. Don’t let your emotions consume you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives can barely control himself, not even attempting to release his emotions into the Force. It wasn’t helpful this morning, so why should he try now?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just don’t make a scene, Fives. Don’t.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives is very tempted to make a scene.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Listen, lady--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jez.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jizz--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Jez</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s what I said.” Fives glares at her arms wrapped around him and grabs them in a crushing grip before throwing them off. “I’m just here for a drink and then I’ll be off.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He turns his chair around to glare at her and drive his point home, but just as he faces her, she smirks impishly at him and throws herself into his lap, straddling him. “Why not let me accompany you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives almost--</span>
  <em>
    <span>almost</span>
  </em>
  <span>--Force pushes her off, but then just as he’s raising his palms up to get her off his lap, another figure grabs the woman by the shoulders and yanks her off.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman goes flying backwards and stumbles, tripping over her feet. She lands hard on her bottom. Fives can’t help the small smirk that forms on his lips. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Looking up to see who helped him, Fives is greeted with the sight of a tall siniteen. Like his ass of a Master Chief Bric. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not the same guy, Fives forces himself to remember.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives opens his mouth to thank him, but before he can get a word out, the siniteen speaks up. “Can’t you see the man isn’t interested, harpy?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The woman glares at the siniteen and scowls as she gets up off the floor. “What, like you aren’t?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives feels his brain freeze and the thankfulness turns into wariness.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>What.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Please not another one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives looks at the siniteen from the corner of his eye, headache still not going away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The siniteen before him glances down at him and smiles wolfishly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, no. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s another one.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, you said it yourself: he does live with that weird hermit, so maybe he’d like a different kind of company.” The siniteen gives him a lustful look.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Ew</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Fives thinks he just baby barfed in his mouth. It’s like Bric is hitting on him. Is everyone in this tavern horny after every newcomer that walks through the tavern doors? Lips pulling down into a glower, Fives grits out through clenched teeth, “Listen. Siniteen--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Lew.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever. Jizz--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jez.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s what I said.” Fives glares at them and says in the most succinct way possible: “I. Am. Not. Interested. In either of you. All I want is a hard drink and then I’ll be off. No funny business with anyone here. Not with the pushy lady and not the horny siniteen. No one. So just leave me alone and go get each other off or something.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He doesn’t wait to see if they leave. Fives turns back to the bar. Where is that bartender?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives feels the Force painfully squeezing him. Why can’t anything go right today?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ten minutes later and the bartender finally brings his drink, carelessly sliding the cup his way. Fives catches it before it all tips over. He growls under his breath. What happened to decent customer service? Fives scowls at the retreating barkeep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His fist is tingling again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Exhaling sharply, Fives tries to ignore all the swirling sensations that have been attacking him all day. He turns his attention back to his drink, but just as he brings the drink up to his lips, Fives flinches when he hears the siniteen behind him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, handsome, it’s pretty rude to just blow off good company--especially since I got that woman off of ya.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just pretend he’s not there, Fives, he tells himself as he chugs down the alcohol.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He swallows it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It burns.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It tastes repulsive.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives feels his anger skyrocket unreasonably. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was a waste of time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>First the dreams and no Ben, then that woman and the siniteen, now the terrible bartender and the drinks?! </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives </span>
  <em>
    <span>hates</span>
  </em>
  <span> today.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey buddy, I’m talking to you.” The siniteen is just as bad as that woman.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives almost snarls, but settles on glaring off into space, the cup’s rim to his mouth.  He’s squeezing it so hard it cracks a little. He doesn’t care. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you listening to me? I’m trying to--” the siniteen drops a hand on his shoulder and something inside Fives snaps.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t control the drastic spike in his rage and anger. The headache tears at his skull and his heart is burning like the night he died. He’s getting crushed and there’s no way to fight back against the pressure except to let himself explode. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives doesn’t really process anything as he pushes off his seat, the legs screeching irritably. The cup crashes down on the counter, spilling everywhere. Fives doesn’t notice. He’s burning up and he needs to stop the crushing weight against him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His movement causes the hand on his shoulder to drop and back away, but Fives whips around, not thinking, with his hand held out in a crushing motion. He doesn’t pay attention to the painful wheeze that comes out of the siniteen, nor does he hear the outraged gasps and commotion around him. The Force is pulsing around him, consuming him, squeezing his mind and chest. Urging him to do more.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hates it. Craves it. Wants nothing to do with it. Fives can’t tell. Everything that’s built up today is boggling his mind while also fueling his power.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives tightens his hold. The siniteen is gasping and choking as Fives slowly raises him to the air. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels a sick sort of pleasure until--</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Someone throws something at his shoulder. It doesn’t do much damage, but it knocks Fives back into reality. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gasping, Fives drops his hand as if it were shot dead. What is he doing?! This is what a Sith does! He stumbles back a few steps until his back hits the bar counter. Fives stares in horror at the hand he used to choke the siniteen. Why did he do that? He </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows</span>
  </em>
  <span> better! Ben </span>
  <em>
    <span>taught</span>
  </em>
  <span> him better.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives clenches his trembling hand shut and bites his lip. The Force is still an overwhelming storm within him. His chest pounds painfully, but the headache is gone for now. Fives can taste blood dripping from his mouth. He doesn’t stop the bite he has on his lip. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maker, what would Ben think? He lost control, and it was all just because he let his dreams get to him. He let his fear for his brother build up and he exploded in anger when Ben wasn’t there to help him. Fives wants to punch himself. It’s already been nearly six months since he came back to life, and yet, he still gets overwhelmed. He still needs Ben’s help. His guidance. His presence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives shouldn’t be struggling this much. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me, sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to leave this establishment.” Fives hears the bartender tersely say behind him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can’t stop shaking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Numbly nodding with his messy bangs falling over his eyes, Fives holds his fist to his chest and turns to leave. Hesitantly, Fives glances down at the siniteen on the ground who’s looking at him with apprehension. The siniteen flinches at his look, and out of guilt and human decency, Fives tentatively reaches a hand out to help the siniteen up, but it just gets slapped away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Get away from me, you monster! You freak! You’re one of those scum that can move things with their minds! Freak!” The siniteen hisses at him, burning a baleful look into his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives can’t help but flinch back at the words. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He is a freak. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A freak clone with freak powers. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives stumbles back and bumps into tables as he makes his way out of the tavern. He needs to get away. He needs to go back home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives feels his breathing constricting.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Some people step away from him as he clumsily makes his way out of the bar. Other people roughly push him and spit at him. Fives doesn’t care. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He just needs to go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he makes his retreat out of the bar, Fives doesn’t notice the figure in the shadowy corner watching him leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You put it on him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Of course I did,” the woman next to him replied haughtily.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The figure grunts and watches the fleeing ends of the brown robe.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He needs to get back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He needs to get back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He needs to get back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That’s all he can think as he does a panicked run back home. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He needs to get back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Even if Ben isn’t there, he still leaves a residual feeling of his presence. That should help Fives calm down a little bit. He shouldn’t rely so much on Ben, but Fives will worry about it later. He’s starting to hyperventilate and his heart hurts. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives almost trips over his feet. Grunting, Fives continues to run. His fist spasms and he digs his nails further into his palm. How could he have done that?! He really is a monster. He let himself explode and would have killed senselessly. He would have been no better than Sidious. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives blinks away frightened tears. He needs to get better control of himself. Of his dreams. Of his feelings. Of everything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He needs to get back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It feels like hours until the hut finally comes into view, but at the sight of it, Fives feels his breathing slowly even out. He’s home. He’s okay now. The Force is a comforting blanket here.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives flexes his fist as he makes his way back to the hut. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Meditate. He should meditate. It might not have helped earlier, but he should meditate. The katas would feel too violent right now. Logically, he knows the katas aren’t violent, but they’re just too physical, and after what happened in the tavern, Fives doesn’t want to do anything physical right now.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he gets closer to the hut, Fives can feel Ben’s calming presence inside.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He feels selfish at the relieved sigh he lets out.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Can’t rely on Ben. Shouldn’t rely on Ben to always soothe the storm whirling inside. Fives needs to grow in the Force and he can’t do that if he’s always relying on Ben to guide him every step of the way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, he’s grateful that Ben’s back home.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives shoulders the door open almost timidly and peeks shamefully inside. He can feel Ben’s presence in the kitchen. Breathing in slowly, Fives feels his nerves calm down a little. He’s still freaking out a bit, but feeling the soothing waves from Ben is comforting. </span>
</p>
<p><span>Remember: release your emotions into the Force, Fives thinks anxiously. He’s struggling with it--has been all day--but today has just been a </span><em><span>really</span></em> <em><span>bad</span></em><span> day. Release it into the Force.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>It doesn’t really work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As he rounds the corner and into the kitchen, Fives smells the brewing of tea. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He could use some tea. He likes tea. He doesn’t know why he used to give Cody grief about liking tea before, but now he understands. Ben got both of them into tea.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives wants to laugh at that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hello there, my friend. Care for some tea?” Ben doesn’t look up as he pours tea into two cups on the table. He must have been preparing tea for himself when he felt Fives’ presence near the hut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Smiling nervously at his friend, Fives nods at Ben and takes the cup offered to him, shedding the borrowed robe and hanging it over the chair he sits on. “Thank you, Ben.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He takes a sip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It tastes better than whatever was in that tavern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives sighs and takes another sip.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re welcome, Fives.” Ben smiles kindly at him as Fives feels the comforting waves from him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The two take a seat at the table and don’t say anything for a couple of minutes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives can’t bring himself to speak up. All he does is stare at his tea, bangs falling halfway down his face. His hair is itchy. He has to keep in a small low ponytail now, but he usually just lets the bangs flop wherever. He must look ridiculous. Fives doesn’t care. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Cradling the tea in both his hands, Fives tentatively reaches out into the Force to grip at Ben’s presence. It helps. Ben doesn’t look up from his own tea, seemingly oblivious to Fives’ frazzled nerves. Fives is grateful for his purposeful ignorance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They stay like that: Fives taking comfort in Ben’s soothing waves, and Ben sending calming energy to him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s not until Fives has finished his tea when Ben finally speaks up. “Are you okay now, Fives? I felt your quarreling burst of emotions as you were approaching the hut.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives licks his lips nervously and tightens his hold on the cup. He doesn't crack it this time. Fives stays silent, bouncing his leg rapidly before abruptly digging into his pocket and throwing the stolen credits onto the table. “I’m sorry, Ben.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben only glances at the credits briefly before looking kindly back at him. Fives feels his heart ache at the compassionate gaze. He doesn’t deserve Ben’s friendship. “It’s alright, Fives. I’m guessing something happened that caused you to feel so . . . all over the place?” Ben inquires gently.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives peeks hesitantly at his friend. “Y-yeah.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben hums mildly, not pushing Fives to speak, just waiting patiently for him to gather his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives can’t help but admire the serenity the former Jedi general holds among Fives’ own explosive agitation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It takes a couple of minutes, but Fives eventually forces himself to speak. “I--I’m sorry, Ben. Not just for taking your credits, but for also giving into my fear.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben doesn’t interrupt him, merely sending those soothing waves Fives has relied too much on.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had another dream--the one about the desert planet I mentioned to you about two months ago--and when I woke up, I was feeling frustrated at knowing that’s where Kix is, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I tried to meditate. For hours. But it didn’t help me. I couldn’t release my emotions, a-and when I sought you out, you weren’t here.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben’s eyes crinkle at that, but he still doesn’t open his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought my katas would help, but I just got even more tense and frustrated and everything started to hurt.” Fives clutches at his chest. “Practicing the Djem So katas didn’t help either, and then I got angry and thought that a drink would help. I didn’t get the chance to pay--I’m sorry for the credits again--but I--.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives sucks in a breath. “Ben, I--I almost hurt someone. Almost hurt them bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives trembles as he flexes his fist. Open. Close. Open. Close.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben sends more calming energy his way. Fives lets himself breathe again as he urges out, “I Force-choked a siniteen.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He can feel Ben freeze, not just across from him, but also in the soothing waves he sends his way. </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Fives disappointed him. He knows he did. He hates that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ben, I’m sorry,” Fives repeats. “I let my emotions get the best of me and I almost killed--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fives.” Ben says his name softly, but it’s powerful enough to make Fives shut up. “Fives, It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to help you--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Ben!” Fives interrupts, bangs swaying as he lightly slams his cup on the table. “That’s just it--I rely on you too much; whenever I have a bad day, I use you as a crutch. I’m always depending on you to help me because I’m not strong enough. I’m not capable of handling being Force-sensitive because I don’t have the stren--”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Fives.” His voice is firm, like the days when he was a general giving out orders. Fives straightens in his seat out of habit. “You are strong, don’t doubt that, and don’t say you’re not capable of handling being Force-sensitive. Your situation is unique. The Force has granted you a second life and throughout these past few months, I have watched you push through your bad days with the strength of your own. You are doing remarkably well for someone who has been thrust back into life and was granted powers that usually takes years for people to comprehend, let alone master. You are strong, Fives. And yes, maybe do I indulge you too much on </span>
  <em>
    <span>some</span>
  </em>
  <span> of your bad days, but that is on both of us. Don’t think you’re weak just because of a few bumps in the road.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives bites his lip as he stares at his friend through his bangs. Ben really is kind. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Perfect Jedi,</span>
  </em>
  <span> the thought echoes in his brain. “Thank you, Ben, but being at the tavern opened my eyes to my weaknesses--to what I need to improve. I let my dreams control me; I let my fear and frustration take a hold of me and I almost lost myself. I can’t let that happen. I won’t. If I’m going to rescue Kix somehow, I need to get better at releasing my emotions into the Force without relying on you so much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben smiles at him and projects a proud feeling towards him. Not a soothing wave, but a pleased one. Fives smiles back. “You are a brilliant man, Fives. You--you’re a lot like--like Anakin. Or at least, you remind me of him in a lot of ways.” Ben stumbles over his words. “But you are also very different. You are your own person, and you acknowledging this weakness of yours makes me proud.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fives can’t help feeling flustered at the compliment, but he gives the former general a small grin. “Thank you, Ben.” Fives feels all the tension in his body leave. The pain pounding against his heart now a dull ache. “You’re a good friend--and brother.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ben perks up at this and smiles at him. “You are a brother to me as well, Fives, and I will do my best to help you grow in the Force.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They don’t say anything else, finding peace in each other’s presence.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>They remain oblivious to the blinking dot hidden in the wrinkles of the robe on the chair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p>.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>heyo people! i hope you enjoyed that chapter, idk how i feel about it tbh, but i wanted to establish some things :D But anyways, thank you again for reading and for the kudos, comments, etc! I sennd virtual hugs your way, unless you dont want a hug then a virtual air hug :p</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey people, this story has been playing in my mind for a while now and I wanted to release it into the world. I have ideas for this fic that I will be jotting down but updates will be slow. Thank you for taking the time to read this! :</p></blockquote></div></div>
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